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How we met

How we met – the eHarmoney story


We met on eHarmony!!! We emailed back and forth for about a month before we spoke on the phone and the only reason we spoke was to arrange a meeting in person. We met up at a Chipotle (I LOVE that place!!) on a Wednesday for lunch and we ended up spending that whole day together as well as all day Thursday and Friday. For me I “knew” that he was the one by the second day that we hung out, but there is a good bit more back story that plays into the whole thing. Lets back up about 2 months…


I was coming out of a 3+ year relationship. It was great while it lasted but I kind of know that things were coming to an end as we got to the summer so when my boss asked me if I wanted to move north a few hours to take over a larger region I took the opportunity. about 48 hours after that conversation with my boss my boyfriend said that “we needed to take a break”… I had been in that situation before and rather than begging him to stick thing out I told him that it was a good idea, I knew that he had felt that way and that I just told my boss I would accept the northern region and I would be moving 2 hours north next week. At the time he said that was a good thing so we parted our ways. I moved north and threw myself into my job in this new territory. A week or so after that my older sister who does not live in the area come down to FL to visit and we got to spend a few nights hanging out. As all good sisters do we shared we shared some good (cheap) wine and she talked me into signing up for eHarmony. So after a glass or two of wine I am ready for that and I sign up that night!

I start getting matched with people but more than anything I kept hitting the “archive” button for people. My thought with online dating is that if you are matched on SOOOOO many levels of compatibility and all these people meet your personality requirements, the only one that the computer cant match you on is the looks (maybe that is shallow of me but that was my perspective since I wasn’t really wanting a relationship at that moment anyway…)

With in about 3 weeks of singing up I got matched with Tavis, I was immediately attracted to him and started the “communication” process. It takes for-ev-er (or so it feels) but I would highly recommend going through the process and not rushing it, enjoy every last one of those silly messages that you send.  We completed the eHarmoney prescribed process and then began “open communication” and we emailed each other once or twice a day for about a week, it was wonderful. we got to ask questions about each others past, about the family that we grew up with and so on. There is no pressure to “say the right thing” or have the perfect comeback because you have hours to figure out just how you want to respond and give a detailed account, it was perfect! Then my ex-boyfriend stated calling, and texting, and calling some more, and I wasn’t sure if I should have moved on so quickly… So out of the blue (from Tavis’s perspective) I wrote him and told him that I need to stop emailing him and that it was probably too soon for me and that I should not have joined the dating site so quickly. But from that moment on I felt sick to my stomach, I knew that Tavis was something special and that I wanted to get to know him more. so day, after day, after day, after day, i had this pit in my stomach about Tavis and I really wanted to meet him in person. Because I knew that if I just met him, it would all be settled in my mind, one way or the other.

When I started emailing Tavis, one of the things in our emails that we shared was our past relationship history, so he already knew that I was fresh out of a long relationship. So after about 10 days of silence from me, i emailed him out of the blue and the email went something like this…

“I know Im crazy, my ex-boyfriend was coming around so that is why i cut things off with you. I cant put you out of my mind, and i am really confused right now. Having said all of that… I really want to meet you in person because I think that you are something really special and if I dont at least meet you I will live my life thinking “what if”…

When I wrote that I really meant it. My ex-boyfriend had met with my folks in the mean time and asked if he could marry me. He was going to buy a ring and purpose and i knew it was coming… I also know that after meeting Tavis, the bar had been raised and who I would have married a few months before was not going to cut it any more. I knew that I had to meet this guy who had captured my heart in his letters and find out if he was a real person.

So in my crazy letter to Tavis I asked him to take a risk and meet me because I could not marry a person when I was wondering if there was someone else out there that would have been better suited for me but I was too scared to follow through.